10. Music

At 47 years of age, I started taking piano lessons. Considering I always loved music, and that the last instrument that I played was the flute at school when I was maybe 11 or 12 years old (and I loved it and still can read the notes and play it), it has been quite a long wait.

Again, the reasons why I never took piano, or guitar, or drums, or whatever lessons I was craving to take, bring me back to my boycotting tendencies. There was always an excuse for me to not allow me to do what I wanted: lack of money was the main one until I was 23. After I got my first salary, I had no time at all, working 14 hours per day, 6 days per week, and trying to survive in my spare time, as a mechanism, and trying to find a warm, safe network of friends to go through life, as a need.

So I never took lessons. I replaced that void with a professional twist that brought me to work as a music journalist for more than 10 years. Golden years. Of course, golden years over a lawyer of insecurity, guilty feelings, and the rest of collateral damage from my early and teenager years (read previous other posts if you want to know what I mean). However, my link to music was not complete, and I always felt that I wish I could actually play music myself.

So after almost 25 years of my first job (salary) I finally allowed myself to do something I really always wanted to do.

And it is great and super difficult. And I love it. Every second I am on the piano, no matter how difficult it is to coordinate both hands, with my brain feeling overwhelmed, coordination almost impossible sometimes, with my mind sending all sort of destructive thoughts, despite all that noise in my head, I love playing the piano.

I love music because it is a safe space that is always there. Now more than ever, with portable devices. It is warm, adaptative, delicate, generous, pure and inspiring, and the best company.

My daughter is taking piano lessons. She is 6 years old. I love that she has this opportunity. Whatever she makes of it in the end. She will never have to look back and think about what would have happened had she had the chance to try it.