I can not be friends with those who are overconfident, lack empathy, or have not experienced some sort of serious suffering themselves.
People who are not aware of the impact of suffering are just not suitable for my concept of friendship.
I enjoy funny people, I love to crack jokes, see life with irony, laugh at myself too, I love to have a real party, and to share conversations after a nice meal, or during a football match on TV.
I am not a freak of the dark side. I enjoy feeling happy, and I do love to see my friends feeling happy.
But I can not do any of the above with people who have not gone through the full real experience of the human condition, and that includes suffering.
I do not like to see people suffering. I do not think people have to suffer. I find the saying that suffering is a form of inspiration quite annoying and wrong. I do not pursue suffering, and I wish I had never suffered beyond the average.
All this said, I only feel secure with people who have proved empathy for other’s suffering. And in all of the cases I know, only people who have suffered to a beyond average degree are capable or willing to show real empathy.
My daughter will most probably be an empathic person. I hope she will be not because she suffered, but because she is aware that sometimes people suffer and that helping them is a way to make oneself more useful and fair.