14. Be yourself

Father and daughter.
3 min readDec 2, 2020

My dear daughter, be yourself. Gently though, not bitterly. Try not to confront everyone who is not nice. Choose the right moment and person to discuss with. Some people do not like to have discussions, and they prefer to avoid them and do as if nothing happened. It is not useful, but it happens a lot, so do not get upset with those people, but try to keep them at a certain distance if you can.

Try to be yourself means to listen to your body and your mind, both. And be aware of the education and knowledge you receive throughout your life. At certain points in your life, you will feel a revelation: something you believed in might not be something you want to believe in anymore. Be nice to yourself and to your knowledge, and be brave enough to revise your beliefs and thoughts. Understand yourself and understand life as it is. Try to accommodate your feelings and your principles to real life. You do not need to give up on your ideals, but be flexible enough to not become a prisoner of your ideals and your limitations. Accept yourself as you are, love yourself, and try to make yourself a better one, so that you feel proud and at peace with yourself.

Do not let other people determine your worth.

The world is not one. People are different because they were raised differently, in a different culture, in a different environment, with different cultures and beliefs, with different means, and within different families. Do not forget that. It also means you are different to me, to your mother, and the rest of your family and friends and work colleagues. And it is ok to be different since we all are. The problem is when you think you are different from everybody and everything else. You are not, nobody else. We are all human beings, we share life on this planet, and we share basic structural necessities. We are closer to be different than to be different. So respect your differences, but do not forget the similarities. They are very important to lead a happy, functional, integrated life.

So feel ok being who you are. Stand for yourself. Raise your opinion when doing so will lead to good things for you. If people around you in a certain situation do not want to hear your opinion, keep it for yourself unless voicing out your opinion is really important to you and your well-being even under that situation. Do not forget that your view of the world is as valid as anyone else’s, even when you keep it for yourself or for your close relatives and friends.

Even I kept certain opinions for myself or for very few friends and relatives. Sometimes to protect me, sometimes to protect them.

When you feel inspired by other people, observe what is in them that you can bring to yourself without sacrificing your own nature. You do not need to be somebody else, even if you admire them. Be yourself, feel comfortable with who you already are, and surround yourself with nice people who accept you the way you already are, and do not expect you to change or adapt to them.

And enjoy your precious life.

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Father and daughter.

Stay-at-home ex-pat father, following his wife work-post after work-post, struggling with parenting far from friends and family. And the son of divorced parents